"You have memories to look back in past, Lalit", the push notification from my Facebook app read it this morning.
I tend to just shrug it off when Facebook reminds me of some things that happened to me on certain day in past. Seriously, why to bother and hold on to what has happened in past? But don't know why, I still decided to check out how interesting things were back then for me.
I kept scrolling until I stumbled upon my little rant, some nine years ago. Yes, nine years ago! Check it out -
It looks like I was upset because of someone so much so that the pain became unbearable and I had to express it somehow and apparently there was no better way out to express it (thank you Facebook). But the funny thing is, when I tried to think more about it today, I really could not remember what it was about and especially whom was it for. Was it for some friend, an ex, a colleague, some family member or my teacher? Whom was it really about?
Aah, I still can't remember it. But thinking about it indeed made me realise an important thing. And that is, whatever is bothering you a lot in present may not even be a thing you would remember in future. Sure, we all know it, alright. It's also true that we must focus on moving on...thinking about future... not looking back.....burning the past and all. All good. But boy! I discovered a beautiful thing about "looking back in past" today and I feel we all should do it once in a while.
No, no , no....I am not saying about holding on to past. It is stupid! I am talking about looking back, observing events from past as a person that you have evolved into today and then learning from it. Not all heartburns we felt in past were meant to push us down but may be those were meant to serve us in similar tough situations stored in future? If we could move on from similar situation in past, so far so that today we can't even remember what was it, why won't we overcome what we are going through in present times? Right?
The reason I'm writing this post today is simple. I'm healing from a lot of crazy things that happened with me all at once lately and going had gotten tough. That's not it, bunch of my friends reached out to me to lean on my shoulder for some crazy things happening in their life too and around same time. Isn't that interesting?
It looks like some weird celestial transformations are happening that are impacting almost all of us in some or the other way. I learned about one of my friends' break up, while other's plan for promotion got screwed, one lost her business contract wherein other friend got to see the true face of the person he trusted with his heart. It appears to me that we all are going through some or the other sort of transformations, realisations and awakenings and I think of it as a good thing. So, this post is for everyone going through such interesting times.
The difficult part is recovering, learning from it and moving on. Don't hold on to it. Don't think why me. Don't bother why somebody behaved some way, why other person moved on so quickly while you are still stuck. We all are different. Things stop mattering to some of us early and for some of us they take more time. If you are a deep person, your wounds are likely to be deep and naturally it will take more time to heal. If you are shallow (no, I am not judging you), your pain would be like some scratch on the body so healing will be faster. Everybody suffers but everyone moves on at different pace. It's all the same, but time differs and reasons behind those sufferings may vary. But in the end, it settles, it stops bothering you and that matters the most.
Another important realisation for me has been, that whatever wrong treatment you get from others, it's not always about you. It's more about them, their own struggles, their own fears and insecurities, and whatever they are dealing with in life at that point of time. Be kind. Play your part with as much empathy, compassion and love as possible. If they realise and respect it at some point then good, else you always have an option to detach with love. At-least you would have no regrets in future that you did not try. And I am sure that dealing with difficult situations this way will make you even better person and that you would suffer less.
As time passes by and as your own brave acts from your past inspire you, you should be all right. Whoever has said, "It happens for a reason", has rightly said it. It happened for a reason back then, it has happened for a reason this time and you never know, it might happen for some reason in future too. Just make sure to look back in past once in a while to know how bravely you fought it out and how insignificant that event turned out to be over the time. If you do that, I promise your way of looking at your troubles will become totally different.
Today, the struggle I had to deal with nine years ago, suddenly made me feel very light about my struggles of now. And guess what? I am already curious how I would feel when I look back at my present some years from now on. I'm sure I would have a hearty laugh. And, what about you?
A passionate & thinking tester. Trainer & student of the craft of testing. Father, Foodie and dog lover. Chief Editor and Co-founder of Tea-time with Testers magazine.